Here’s my reconstruction of a bathroom sign at Flags West truck stop in southeastern Idaho, where we stopped for some Good 'n Plenty and Pull 'n Peel on our cross-country drive in August. By the way, drop the ells from the latter candy and you get Pu 'n Pee, which is the other reason we were there.

So the sign: my question is, what on earth is going on on the right? Are they just pointing out that that direction also exists? What about up and down, then, and in between? The other two arrows seem to be directing people to restrooms, so we can assume the right one is too. But who is supposed to use that one? “Other”? No one? Invisible people???

Moreover, it is unclear whether men may use the bathroom here. Apparently they must first become handicapped.

Even if they succeed by getting caught pilfering some trucker’s tobacco chew, the sign says they must approach their bathroom in reverse. Hm. Is it because the women’s is that way too, so they must face away? (Watch out when you open the door, ladies, there’s a guy in a wheelchair barreling toward it—backwards!) That’s after drumming up an extra wheelchair at a truck stop in rural Idaho.

A Martian, I think, would take from this sign that all triangle-shaped earthlings are called women, but that only those with gargantuan derrieres are accessible. And located to the left. And never, ever, go right unless you are invisible. Yes, that’s what a Martian would take from it.

Anyway, I peed on some clover out back; the pu had to wait till Utah.